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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338350">What does the future hold?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lutrosis/pseuds/Lutrosis'>Lutrosis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Healing, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Redemption, Loneliness, Redeemed Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Fix-It, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Throne Room Scene</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:07:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,694</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lutrosis/pseuds/Lutrosis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the throne room scene ends a bit differently than in TLJ? What if Ben is the first to wake up instead of Rey? Would the story still take the same course? Or would they find some kind of happiness together?</p><p>Ben had never thought about his future. After he killed Snoke, he needs to find his own way. A short story about Ben getting his happy end.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What does the future hold?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For the last month - and especially after the disaster that was TROS - I had many ideas about possible fics, but never really had enough motivation to start writing. However I used today's Twitter-campaign #AFutureForBenSolo as an opportunity to begin writing. I hope you enjoy reading my short exploration of how Ben could find a happy future after he killed Snoke and fought with Rey against the Praetorian guard. </p><p>English isn't my first language. I tried my best to correct any mistakes and make the story well readable.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They already defeated several of Snoke’s Praetorian guards, but it had cost Rey and Ben much of their finesse and strength to stay alive and win despite, that they were outnumbered. Using both, his own lightsaber and an Electro-Bisento Ben killed his penultimate opponent. Evading a swing from the last guard he faced, he lost his grip on both weapons and faced his opponent defenseless. Trying to snatch his enemy’s weapon from him, Ben was overwhelmed and forced into a chokehold. Ben struggled against the guard and unsuccessfully tried to free himself.</p><p>A few meters away, Rey managed to kill the last guard, that had attacked her. Seeing Ben unable to defend himself, she threw her lightsaber across the room into Ben’s hand. He held it in front of his opponent’s head and briefly ignited the saber. The blade extended itself and killed the guard instantly. With a dull sound, the dead guard fell to the ground.</p><p>The room around the two force users was partly on fire, all Praetorian guards and the former Supreme Leader laid dead on the ground. Rey pointed to the oculus and called out to Ben. “The fleet. Order them to stop firing! There’s still time to save the fleet!” Seeming to be in a daze, Ben slowly walked towards Snoke’s throne. Despite the ongoing battle outside of the <em>Supremacy</em> and the smoke and carnage inside the throne room, everything went eerily quiet. Holding the lightsaber, that was passed from his grandfather to his uncle and then to Rey, Ben stood in front of Snoke’s dissected body. He stared at his former master. Rey regarded him warily. “Ben?”</p><p>He took a deep breath. “It’s time to let the old things die,” he said without looking at her. He turned his head towards Rey, “Snoke, Skywalker. The Sith, the Jedi. The Rebels, the First Order. Let it all die.” Ben walked towards Rey, loosely holding onto the lightsaber. “Join me, Rey. We let it burn, all burn. Let’s do this together. Together nothing will be impossible. Together we can find peace.” He held his hand out towards her.</p><p>Tears sprang from Rey’s eyes. “Ben...” Taking a new breath, Rey shuddered visibly. “Don’t do this, Ben. Please.” A look of desperation manifested itself on Ben’s face. “No, no. You’re still holding on! Let go!” His distress was clearly audible in his voice. He didn’t know how to show Rey, that the past was filled with pain and grief and nothing good could come out of it. “Do you want to know the truth about your parents?” he asked. Trying to implement a soothing note into his tone, he continued. “Or have you always known?”</p><p>Seeing misery and old pain in Rey’s eyes, he took a few steps towards her. “You know the truth. Say it.” Maybe getting Rey to admit her heritage, would make her see, that the past held no value. Several painful moments long both looked deep into each other eyes. Softly and in a much quieter voice, Ben repeated, “Say it.” Rey broke her gaze and shortly looked to the floor, then back into Ben’s eyes. “They were nobody,” she voiced the truth, that she never was brave enough to permit to herself.</p><p>Feeling her pain, Ben needed to fortify himself and averted his gaze, before he told her, what he found out. “They were filthy junk traders, who sold you off for drinking money.” Rey’s sob broke through the hold she had onto her emotions. “They’re dead in a paupers’ grave in the Jakku desert.” More and more tears formed in Rey’s eyes. On the one hand, hearing these things spoken out loud threatened to sweep her away, but on the other, it was also cathartic.</p><p>Ben tried to convey his feelings for Rey to her. “You have no place in this story. You come from nothing. You are nothing.” In contrast to Ben, she wasn’t forced to play a role in this galactic fight. Her life should have been inconsequential to this grand struggle that dominated most of the galaxy for the last decades. And yet she stood there, in the center of everything. Ben took a last attempt at persuading Rey to take his hand and come with him. “But not to me.” His lip quivered, his eyes full of desperation, he held out his hand again. “Join me. Please.” </p><p>Rey looked at Ben’s hand. He took two small steps towards her. His anguish was clearly visible on his face. His pain was mirrored on Rey’s face. She looked him into the eyes again. Rey swallowed, preparing herself for her answer. With a last quiver of hope, Ben begged: “Please.” Rey slowly lifted her hand. Ben’s whole physique was still tense but began to relax, seeing his light at the end of the tunnel. A possibility for a new peaceful life. Being with Rey, was the one thing he felt completely sure about. Like on Ahch-too her fingers moved towards his. Her eyes locked unwaveringly into his own. </p><p>A jolt went through Rey’s body. Her hand extended towards the lightsaber, that was still in Ben’s other hand and force pulling it towards her. Shocked and betrayed Ben stood in front of Rey, who had ignited the blue saber. “Rey?” A broken sound escaped Ben’s throat.</p><p>“I can’t just leave my friends behind, Ben. Not while they are defenseless.” Ben fell to his knees. “I won’t fight you, Rey.” He lowered his head. He should have known, that she would never join him. He was always left and betrayed. By his parents and his uncle. For Snoke, he was only a second-choice instrument. Rey betraying him, choosing to leave him, shouldn’t have been surprising. He didn’t deserve love, a peaceful life, a happy end. But meeting Rey had ignited a small spark of hope, that he thought was long dead. And she had come to him. But he had been wrong. She only wanted to use him to save her real friends, she had deceived him. And now he was left with nothing. He couldn’t kill her, and he had nothing to offer her, that would make her join him, that would make her stay.</p><p>“Ben, please. I’m begging you, stop the attack on the fleet.” Ben lifted his head and regarded the tears streaming down her cheeks. “I can’t, Rey. I have no power over them. I killed Snoke. I sacrificed everything for you.” Rey lowered the ignited saber and turned around. Resigned she watched the transports, containing the last of the Resistance.</p><p>Suddenly the world seemed to explode. Ben and Rey were flung through the room and lost consciousness.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ben felt a tug inside his head – as if the force tried to show him something. He slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed, was Hux’s voice. “End her miserable life.” Instantly Ben sat upright. He saw the two Stormtroopers accompanying Hux pointing their blasters at a lifeless body on the ground. “No,” Ben yelled, and force pushed both Stormtroopers violently against the wall.</p><p>Hux spun around to Ben. “What are you doing?” Despite his throbbing head, Ben sprang on his feet. “You will not hurt her,” he gritted out. “I won’t permit it.” “Traitor!” Hux hissed. Ben held his finger apart to force choke him. “You. Will. Not. Hurt. Her. You will not lay a single finger on her. I will not allow it. Never.” Slowly Hux lost every last piece of air in his lungs, his face grew red and then turned blue. Staring him dead into the eyes, Ben didn’t notice Hux reaching for the blaster in his pocket. “This is your end, Hux,” Ben stated. With a grunt Hux carefully tried to point the blaster towards Ben and fired.</p><p>The shot distracted Ben. Losing control on his hold he released Hux but immediately recognized his mistake. Ben called his lightsaber into his hand, took a big step to a coughing Hux sitting on his knees. With his left hand, Ben pulled Hux upright, and with the other, he ignited his saber and rammed it into Hux’s upper body. Seeing all life leaving his eyes, Ben let his body go and ran to Rey. He reached out with the force, trying to see how badly she was injured.</p><p>While extending his senses, he also took notice of multiple squadrons of stormtroopers that advanced towards the throne room. Apparently, someone had seen his betrayal and the following fights. The Skywalker lightsaber laid left of Rey. He attached it to his belt and hoisted her onto his shoulder. Even if she hadn’t wanted to join him, he would never leave her behind. She already had to go through the kind of pain, that came with being left. Ben himself had experienced this kind of pain and he didn’t want to inflict it on her. He just couldn’t leave her laying on the floor – not if she was alone and injured. </p><p>Ben looked through the room. He needed a way to escape. The only way into the throne room led directly to the advancing stormtrooper squadrons. Maybe Snoke wasn’t arrogant enough to not bother with installing an escape pod in his throne room. The banners of the First Order, that had been covering the walls, had burned down, giving Ben the chance to see a well-hidden entrance to a small ship. Quickly he heaved Rey inside and laid her down on one side.</p><p>He started the shuttle just in time before the first stormtroopers stormed through the door, immediately shooting at the shuttle. But Ben was already far enough, that the shuttle wasn’t damaged. Ben checked fuel and energy and calculated which systems he could reach when Rey behind him made a small noise. Immediately Ben crouched beside her, but she was still unconscious. He began to think about what he should do with Rey. She hadn’t wanted to join him and forcing her along with him – even if she was unconscious – didn’t seem right. Ben weighed if Rey’s anger and explicitly going against her wishes was better than the alternative: Delivering her to the Resistance.</p><p>Ben was sure, that he didn’t want to force Rey to go with him, but he also knew, that he was sick of being alone. The connection he felt to Rey was unparalleled and the last thing he wanted, was to lose her. A life without her looked bleak and unacceptable. He hit the wall behind him with the palm of his hand. He let out a frustrated grunt and went back into the cockpit. Abducting her was unfeasible to him. Not after he got to know her. Not, after all, they went through. Swearing he turned the shuttle towards the lonely planet, where the Resistance transports had flown towards. </p><p>“What am I doing? Argh. I can’t just land this shuttle in front of the Resistance. That would be ridiculous. Imagine that: Landing on the planet, opening the door, coming out like: ‘Hi, my dear Resistance. You all know me as Kylo Ren, but don’t worry all is good now. Hello mother, long time no see.’ That will go well,” Ben muttered to himself. He rolled his eyes and continued his flight towards Crait. “Damn it, they will probably shoot me on sight. What great darksider I am. Risking my life for a girl, that doesn’t want me. Maybe Uncle Chewie can shoot at me again, just end my miserable life.”</p><p>The scanner of the shuttle beeped and showed Ben, where the Resistance transports had landed. “Okay for real now. I need a plan. Hopefully, a plan, that ends with me not getting killed, shot, and/or arrested. Really great fucking odds, I have here.” At these words, Ben sheepishly looked to the side. “Sorry, Dad. You always said: 'Don't tell me the odds' Let's see how much of you is really in me.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>On Crait the Resistance had begun to barricade themselves inside the old base. “Shuttle incoming!” was yelled from the entrance. The remaining Resistance members formed a line, blasters trained on the landing shuttle. In the middle stood Poe and Finn, shielding Leia from any possible danger. “Who could that be?” Finn asked. Leia shook her head. “I don’t know. Chewie and Rey took the Millennium Falcon to Luke. Amilyn died in her attack on the <em>Supremacy.</em> Everyone be careful.”</p><p>Poe frowned. “Wouldn’t an enemy force be arriving with more firepower. That shuttle has no weapons. It is just a single, defenseless shuttle.” “Not even Kylo Ren would be so reckless and attack us alone, without any backup,” Finn commentated, and Leia tensed at his words. The shuttle landed and its door opened slowly.</p><p>“We are heavily armed. Identify yourself and dispose of any weapon. Then slowly come out with your hands in the air,” Poe called. For several moments nothing happened. “What do we do now?” Finn asked. Suddenly a modulated voice came out of the shuttle. “I have an unconscious patient on this shuttle. I have no intention to harm any of you, but I will defend myself and the other passenger.”</p><p>Leia and Poe exchanged looks. Finn silently mouthed, “A patient?” Poe took a step towards the shuttle, “Who is your patient? Why did you bring them to us?” Again, it took several moments until an answer came. “It’s Rey.” These words brought movement in the Resistance group. Finn yelled “Rey!” and tried to surge forward but was held back by Rose and Poe.</p><p>After everything went calm again, Leia stepped forward. “How bad is she injured?” This time the silence went a much longer than before. Ben recognized his mother's voice. He gulped and took some fortifying breaths. Trembling he reached back to the voice modulator. “She is unconscious. I… I don’t know how bad she is injured, but her injuries didn’t seem to be too bad. She appears to be pretty stable.”</p><p>The relief of Leia and especially Finn was clearly noticeable. “Do you want us to get here or will you bring her out to us?” This time the answer came immediately. “Is there a possibility that we do this without encounter each other?” Ben still had no plan, how he would get away from the Resistance again. He knew he needed to bring Rey to the Resistance, but his place wasn’t here. He didn’t share their values. The Resistance had their own failures even if their intentions were good. They bought their weapons and ships from the same vendors the First Order used. The Resistance valued human life more than the First Order, but even they put reaching their cause above everything else. They still defended the Jedi and demonized the dark side. No, Ben’s place wasn’t with the Resistance. He needed to find his own way.</p><p>Behind him, Rey moved again. Anxiously Ben watched her. He saw her opening her eyes. Quickly he took the voice modulator again. “One second, she just opened her eyes. I go check on her and then call back. Don’t do anything!” he warned them. Ben crouched beside Rey and helped her upright. Unsure she looked at him. “Where am I?”</p><p>In a few sentences, he explained what happened with Hux and how he flew to Crait. He told her about the standoff between him and the Resistance standing outside the shuttle. Rey took it all in and softly looked in his eyes. Her hand caressed his cheek. "Thank you, Ben.”</p><p>Suddenly tears formed in her eyes and she looked down. “I am so sorry Ben. I thought… I didn’t know what to do. My friends, my only friends were in danger and you wanted to flee. I was so helpless.” Ben stroked her back and kissed her head. “Where will you go now, Ben? I don’t want to lose you.”</p><p>Ben sighed and admitted, “Honestly? I didn’t really have a plan beyond bringing you here and then finding a way to not get killed or captured. I will not find peace her, Rey. The Resistance and the First Order need to end. I still stand by that statement. We need to grow beyond. Staying in the past will only lead to her repetition.” Rey considered his words. Even with the Resistance waiting outside, they needed to take their time to really talk about this. In the throne room, they were still full of adrenaline and stress from the battle, but now they could actually talk and avoid misunderstandings and rushed judgments. Ben saw thoughts running through Rey’s head. Tensely he awaited her answer. He felt the change in her. Rey sat upright to face him better. This time there was no spark of hope in him, like when they faced each other in the throne room, but a comforting light seemed to shine at him.</p><p>“Ben, please hear me out. I think to achieve peace, you need to properly process your past. You need to face it, accept it as unchangeable, learn from it, and then move past it. Ben, you always talk about letting go of your past, but you still hold onto it. You are a prisoner of your past." Rey went quieter. “If you decide to just run away, I don’t think I will be able to follow you. You helped me accept my past and be able to move on. Now do the same for you.”</p><p>“If I go out there Rey, I don’t think it will end well. Everything in me bristles when I think about going out there.” Rey took both of Ben’s hands into her own. “I will not allow it. We both have the force and we have lightsabers. If they attack, we can flee into the shuttle and make a new plan. But the Resistance isn’t like that. They accepted Finn; he is a defected Stormtrooper. Therefore, they will accept you. You killed Snoke. You killed Hux. You helped me. I will not allow, that they harm you.”</p><p>Ben thought about it. He had no other plan. And he knew that ultimately, he wanted to stay with Rey. Ben didn’t know what the future would hold for him, what path was his. He stood up and went to the voice modulator. “Sorry for the wait. Rey seems to be ok, she just needed longer to wake up. We will come out now to speak to you directly. I hope this will all go down peacefully, we will not attack you, but defend ourselves if necessary.” He nodded to Rey. She stood up, walked towards the door, and slowly down the ramp. Ben stayed a few steps behind her. </p><hr/><p>Finn grinned when he saw Rey. She appeared to have no grave injuries. The last minutes had been excruciating. Finn wanted to storm the ship, but Poe and Leia had stopped him. Their unknown guest didn’t seem to be too dangerous, even if they stayed cautious after he didn’t want to be seen by them. Finn extricated himself out of Poe’s and Rose’s hold and ran towards Rey. But she called for him to wait. A dark figure appeared behind Rey, still standing inside the shuttle so no one could see his features. Leia had an uneasy feeling. “Rey, my dear, how have you been? Who is that with you?” </p><p>Rey looked behind herself and then back at the small group, that made up the Resistance. Finally, she spoke. “I have good news. Snoke was killed, as was General Hux.” A gasp went through the Resistance. Rey looked at Ben again. “And Kylo Ren is defeated.” While most of the Resistance were happy and elated, Poe wasn’t so sure about Rey’s report. “How do you know that? Did you do it?” Rey turned to him. “No, I didn’t do it. But I was there. I saw it with my own eyes. I fought with the one who killed them both. He saved me and brought me here.” Rey reached behind her to take Ben’s hand and he took a step forward. Everyone went quiet, only Leia let out a sob.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Kylo Ren?” Finn’s confused cry rang through the hangar. At the same time a soft “Ben…” escaped Leia’s mouth. Ben warily considered the Resistance soldiers standing before him, his gaze ended on his mother. Slowly he nodded his head, swallowed, and softly answered, “Mother.” It took these few moments for Poe and a few of his companions to react. “Kylo Ren. Give me a good reason, why we shouldn’t kill you on the spot.”</p><p>Rey immediately fell into a defensive stance. She took Ben’s lightsaber from his belt, ignited it, and positioned herself between him and the Resistance. “Because you’ll have to get through me to get to him.” Immediately Blasters were trained on her. Ben let out a low, menacing growl and turned the blue lightsaber on, which still hung on his other side. “Don’t even think about attacking her. You are no match against us.”</p><p>Leia decided to take charge to prevent any unnecessary bloodshed. She raised a hand to signal the Resistance to stop and relax. “Ben, what do you propose so that this standoff ends peacefully?” Ben looked at his mother. “Rey wanted to come back to you. This is the only reason I came here.” He looked at Rey. “But I cannot and will not stay here.”</p><p>Poe scoffed at that. “Yeah. There is no way, we’ll just allow you to leave. You are the enemy. This is unacceptable.” Leia turned to Poe and lifted one eyebrow. “And how do you propose we stop him from leaving?” Incredulously Poe looked at her. “But… He is Kylo Ren!?” Ben used this diversion to step next to Rey and again the blasters were focused onto him.</p><p>“I killed Snoke and I killed Hux. Kylo Ren is no more. What more do you want? The war is over. You destroyed a large part of our... of their fleet. There is no one strong enough left to bring unity to the First Order. They will fight themselves. With the help of the remnants of the New Republic and other independent planets and systems, you’ll win the last few skirmishes easily. It’s over. You have won.”</p><p>Not knowing how to react, the Resistance members turned to Leia. She still looked at her son. “And where will you go now?” Ben looked at Rey, who looked back at him. With one hand he caressed her cheek. “I have no idea.”</p><p>“Ben, could I have a word with you? In private, please – without Rey” Leia asked him. Ben and Rey exchanged a glance. She saw uncertainty and fear in his eyes. Ben looked at his mother. “Sorry, but I would prefer Rey to stay here.” “I just want to talk to you, Ben. I think we need to talk,” Leia insisted again. But Ben just shook his head and looked down. “Do you trust me so little?”</p><p>Tiredness was visible on Ben’s face. “You left me alone, mom. You lied to me about my family. You didn’t believe me when I told you about the voices in my head. You… You sent me into my death.” Ben’s last sentence had the most impact on the General. While she accepted, that she had made mistakes in Ben’s upbringing, she never had wanted her son to die. Now the three stood close enough to each other, that the rest of the Resistance couldn't overhear their conversation. Ben and Rey deactivated their lightsabers but were still ready to use them if they needed to defend themselves. </p><p>Rey decided to rejoin the conversation. Luke’s betrayal wasn’t an easy topic and could worsen the already almost nonexistent relationship between mother and son. “The night Ben fled from Luke’s academy, something happened. I got Luke to confess to me on Ahch-too. I had to fight and defeat him, to finally get him to admit to his failure.”</p><p>Ben looked at Rey with a sense of wonder. He hadn’t known, that she fought with Luke about and for him. It made him only surer about his devotion to her. The last few hours were tumultuous, but the lack of Snoke’s manipulation in his head, let Ben see more and more, that he craved connection and relationship with someone. And Rey wasn’t just someone, not to him. Being in her vicinity, made him feel safe – a feeling he hadn’t had for a long time. He was sure he could do anything when he was at her side. Well, almost anything.</p><p>Taking Ben’s hand into her own – a move that didn’t escape Leia’s attention, Rey continued. “That night Luke sneaked into Ben’s room, while he was asleep. Luke looked inside his head and saw darkness. Luke was obsessed with the thought of stopping the dark side, stopping the death and destruction that would follow. But he was wrong. Ben hadn’t fallen, yet. He was still fighting with Snoke. Ben had fought with Snoke in his head for two decades.”</p><p>Rey turned to Ben. “You were so strong. You wouldn’t let him defeat you and turn you to the dark side." Rey turned back. "Luke, he thought killing Ben would solve everything, would keep Ben from falling. He persuaded himself, that it would be merciful to end his life here and there. But Ben woke up and saw Luke standing above him, with an ignited lightsaber and this look of determination. Ben defended himself and, at this moment, everything was lost. Luke told me, that he had realized his mistake when he stood above Ben and saw his eyes, but it was too late. Luke had betrayed him, the other students didn’t help him, didn’t believe him. Luke’s betrayal was the final incident, that pushed Ben to the dark side, to Snoke.”</p><p>Tears streamed down Leia’s face. “Ben, I’m so sorry. I hadn’t known. I’d never expected that Luke would be able to do such a thing. I always thought he was the only one who could help you.” Ben didn’t know what to do. He knew that his mother loved him but he was torn between his different emotions. Even after all this hurt and betrayal in his past, he hadn’t been able to kill her, when he attacked the <em>Raddus</em>. It was healing, to hear his mother believe him, but he needed more time before he could reconnect with her before he could rebuild their relationship.</p><p>Ben stepped forward and hugged his mother. “I’ll find you, and we will talk, but before that I need time. Time to heal, time to process my past. It has been only a few hours without Snoke in my head, without him tainting my memories and thoughts. But I promise you, I’ll come back.” Leia stepped back. “Okay," she nodded. "I think that is a good plan. We will need time to reactive the forces of our allies to defeat the rest of the First Order. Maybe it will be good if you lay low somewhere for a bit and take time for yourself.”</p><p>She faced Rey. “Rey, of course, you are invited to stay. It’ll do everyone good to have a Jedi in their ranks.” With his head hanging down, Ben awaited Rey’s answer. It was scary to think about finding his own way, without having her at his side. Their last force bond meeting, after Rey’s dive in the cavern on Ahch-too, had shown them both how soothing and reassuring it was, when they talked and faced their problems together.</p><p>“I intended to stay with the Resistance – that was always the plan, after Starkiller Base, after Ahch-too.” Unsure her gaze wandered to Ben and back. “On the Supremacy, I didn’t want to leave anyone in danger. I could never leave Finn and you defenseless.”</p><p>Ben prepared himself for Rey’s goodbye. Maybe they could find each other again when he met his mom. He was sure, he could never get over Rey and he didn’t want to get over her. Rey was his light. She helped him find his way in the darkness. It was calming and warming. Rey was the first thing in a long time, that felt like home.</p><p>However, he understood if she didn’t feel the same. There was a lot of baggage left between them, even if she fought for him multiple times. And everyone always left him, so it would not be very surprising if she left now. Every time someone left, it was harder to still keep going on. And Rey was the only one, who had found him – the real him – even if he was hidden deep in the darkness. Rey leaving him, would hit him hard.</p><p>As if she had sensed his inner turmoil Rey stepped closer to him. Her side was pressed into him and she stood up on her toes and pressed a kiss onto his cheek. A warmth spread from there through Ben’s body. It filled every corner of him and dispersed all the dark thoughts until there was only the warm feeling of Rey’s lips on his cheek left. He focused on Rey’s voice again.</p><p>“But something got clear for me. I don’t want to leave him.” With big eyes, Ben looked at Rey, when she gifted him her whole attention. “I know what it feels like to be left. And as special as my connection is to Finn, to Leia, to the Resistance, no one understands me like you. I understand you like I don’t understand anyone else. In the throne room and afterward, I was so full of adrenaline. I was so scared. The Resistance was in danger. I had misunderstood you and the vision I had. I didn’t just want to let them die. But because of you, they are much safer now. Even if it wasn’t your goal.”</p><p>Rey and Ben turned wholly towards each other and forgot about everyone else in the hangar. “Let them organize the galaxy. I don’t want to never see them again. But it isn’t my purpose to play politician or something like that. I am no Jedi. Luke agreed with you – the time of the Jedi is over. I never wanted to be some big figure of hope, be a part of some grand plan. I don’t really fit in here. I think, I just want my own family. It's all I ever wanted. I just want someone to be there for me, someone who stays.”</p><p>Rey took Ben’s hands into her own and lifted them to her mouth. She kissed his knuckles and softly stroked them. Full of wonder Ben observed her. “I just want to be with you. I just want you, Ben.” Ben leaned his forehead against hers. A small “Thank you” slipped out of Ben’s mouth. A grand sense of gratitude brushed through the force bond. Fully content in each other's company, they stood together.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>After they made their preparation to leave Crait, Ben said goodbye to his mother. Rey hugged Finn and they promised to visit each other in the future. And maybe someday they will live not too far apart. Poe and a few other resistance members watched both force users warily – still expecting especially Ben to do something that would jeopardize the Resistance. But Rey stayed always watchful and at Ben’s side so he knew, that he would be safe. Most of the rest of the Resistance was busy communicating with allies, repairing the shuttles, and preparing for the night. </p><p>Doctor Kalonia had checked Ben and Rey for major injuries but deemed both safe for travel. Though she ordered both to find a place to rest to prevent long-term consequences.</p><p>As they boarded the shuttle, left the planet, and went into hyperspace, both sat down together. Timidly they looked at each other and blushed. But eventually, Rey scoffed and skidded directly next to Ben and leaned into him, her head on his shoulder. Ben put his arm around her, and a small smile formed on his lips and he kissed Rey’s head. Both took solace and strength into sharing space, time, and body with each other. Rey slightly pressed her head into his neck. “So, what is our destination?”</p><p>Ben took her hands into his lap. “Varykino on Naboo. It’s my grandmother’s safe haven. There are many trees, a lake, and green meadows. It is really beautiful. Padmé secretly married my grandfather on a balcony in Varykino – before he became Darth Vader. She planned to raise her children there.” Rey yawned, “It sounds really beautiful and perfect for us.” She snuggled deeper into Ben and closed her eyes. “Yeah, it does,” he answered.</p><p>Feeling Rey so close at his side, Ben allowed himself to think about his future. Although his future now also seemed to be entwined with Rey’s future. When he was Snoke’s minion, he never really thought about the future. He may have had goals, that laid in the future, but he never really imagined his own future. Snoke controlled the future, he constructed it. There was no point in imagining it.<br/>After he had killed Snoke, Ben was aimless. The future was a scary thing. He had no plan on how to find his future. Expecting to be alone, after leaving Rey with the Resistance, the future was this scary dark thing, that he dreaded. But now? With Rey? The future didn’t look so bleak anymore. Ben saw flashes in his mind. Spending mornings with Rey on a balcony. Watching her running through the grass. Ben saw himself smiling, reading a book just for the sake of reading. Ben saw himself cuddling with Rey, spending time together in one bed. And at the fringes he saw little children running around them, jumping in his arms, playing with Rey. </p><p>Ben threw a last glimpse at Rey in his arms. The future looked very bright now. He was sure about it. For a long time, he was denied having his own future. It was always determined by his parents, his legacy, Snoke. But that time was over now. Together with Rey, there was freedom, he was free to have his own future. A Future just for him and his loved ones. A Future for Ben Solo.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In my head the events of TROS never happened and the story above is one of the many possible orders of events that happen after TLJ. As I said I have a few other - longer - ideas, that I would like to write, if there is at least a little bit of interest in them. I know that I copped out of at least a few things, that would have to be solved in longer fics (a real conversation between Leia and Ben, Ben meeting Luke again, Ben reconciling with Chewie, and and and). I have many opinions about the force and its balance, the Jedis, etc. that I would love to explore and implement in future stories.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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